When I was a little girl, I loved to wander around in the woods.  I would sneak into the orchard behind my house or into a nearby pine forest.  I found fossils, hugged trees, and listened to the wind blowing through the pine boughs.  Through all the significant moments of my life, coming home to the Earth has always been the pathway to healing.

Last week, I again found myself turning to Mother Earth to help me.  I had reached a place in my own growth where I couldn’t figure out how to release what needed to go.  It was like trying to grasp a shadow.  I could feel the energies that weren’t serving me and get glimpses of them through dreams or visions, but no matter how hard I tried, I was unable to be completely free of them.

As always, when we ask for help, help comes.  This time it came in the form of an invitation to visit Sedona, AZ well-known for its powerful healing vortexes.  I still can’t quite believe that everything fell into place for me to be able to make this journey.  It was truly a miraculous event on every level.  My hosts and dear soul friends, Ken and Angie, recommended a vortex tour with scientist and metaphysical teacher/healer Jaap Van Etten,Ph.D.  My soul sister Laurie and I went on a five and a half hour journey that was truly life changing.

Many of you have asked me to share about my experience.  Below is my attempt to do so, though bear in mind that it is like trying to capture the majesty and profound beauty of the place with a photograph.  Words can’t do it justice, but still it feels important to try.  The symbolism that occurred during this experience offered such beautiful examples of how we are guided and loved every step of the way.  When I think back on the experience, it truly had the feel of a vision quest-an experience where every moment was orchestrated by the Divine to bring a deep and thorough transformation.  I hope that it inspires and empowers you to follow your own healing and growth.

I was very nervous about going on this journey.  It was as if the parts that I had been trying to heal and release knew that their time with me was coming to an end.  I could feel a great resistance to going and an urge to flee.  While waiting for Jaap to arrive, I went to sit out on the back patio.  I had my iPad with me and felt the urge to check my email.  The first thing I opened was a beautiful poem written by Joel Bruce Wallach (the full poem is available at the link at the end of this article).  I wish I could convey with words how profoundly it matched the experience I was about to undertake.  Much love to Joel Bruce Wallach for sharing his wisdom and grace through these words.  It was like having Mother Earth whisper in my ear all the reassurance and comfort I needed to have the courage to do what needed to be done.  Here is an excerpt…

“When tree beckons, sit against my trunk;

And flower invites, inhale my fragrance;

The canyon whispers, hear my echoes, from mystic tribes of ancient race;

Then sky spreads starry arms, proclaims

Please roam amidst my open space. 

This universal offering,

grants now your soul a kiss.

For when you breathe,

this moment’s miracles,

each ruby gem revealed,

as the heart of the lotus,

 Harvest time presents

a cosmic invitation:

Gently breathe,

and please receive,

your gifts — bright karmic creations.”

As I finished reading this amazing poem, I looked down.  Tucked up against the patio blocks I was sitting on was a small, pure white feather.  I’ve been using an Angel feather in my meditations as a healing tool (something I’d adapted from a technique shared by Joel Bruce Wallach).  For me, this was an Angel feather left to reassure me that the process I was about to undertake would be Divinely guided and would bring the healing I sought.  Jaap arrived a few moments later and introductions were made.  I could tell right away he was truly a kind and gentle soul, though I could also feel my fear.  A few moments later, we went to his vehicle for the ride up the mountain.  We talked on the way and while I found the conversation interesting, I was fighting to keep the panic at bay.  I felt like I was trying to distract a child from a trip to the dentist by talking about fun things we’d be doing later.  In this case, the child wasn’t buying into the distraction.

We finally reached the parking place after traveling up a bumpy “road” strewn with rocks.  The photo above is from the beginning of our hike.  It doesn’t begin to do the place justice.  We were surrounded on all sides by these incredibly beautiful cliffs.  Absolutely breathtaking!

Our first stop once on the trail was at a very old juniper tree.  We each greeted the tree and reached out to touch it.  When my hand connected with the limb, I felt a surge of energy and started to shake.  Soon tears were running down my face.  I couldn’t tell you why, but I knew that something immense was about to happen.  Again, Joel’s poem hauntingly mirrored what I was experiencing…

“Amidst this loving tree so vast,

is the grandmother who held you,

in timeless past.

Embraced by her earthly branches,

to you this tree will say,

Take off your blinders, and

set yourself free to be,

your cosmic self,

at long last.”

When we moved on, I found myself struggling to stay balanced.  I could feel the energies of the place and a the shadow energies were creating a heaviness that made it difficult to continue.  We stopped and took pictures and finally came to a stretch of red rock.  I took off my sandals and walked barefoot across the surface, pulling out a special crystal my soul friend Ken had loaned me.  This was another God wink as Ken had recently purchased the stone and brought it out to show us right before we left.  It was like a life saver for me.  Holding it, I was able to regain my equilibrium and hold fear at bay.

When we reached the first vortex location, Jaap led us through a simple prayer to help us experience the powerful healing energy of the vortex.  After a few moments, he invited us to share our intentions.  His insights were exactly right for both of us and helped us to be clear on what we were there to do.  Jaap said the “shadows” I’d been trying to heal were actually lower vibrating entities that had attached to me during my childhood.  I have experienced “ghosts” before, so I know they exist, but I hadn’t really spent any time considering they could be “attached” to someone.  As this concept had come up with four different healers I’d worked with this summer in connection with me, I had begun to suspect that was what was going on.  A note here…one of the wisdoms I learned from Jaap was in how to view this. While these shadows weren’t serving me anymore, at one time their presence was mutually beneficial.  I came into this world a very wide-open empath.  The shadow energies, while not good for me, did protect me from this openness.  It was only now that I am able to keep myself shielded that I no longer needed their presence (and all that came with it…energy drains, fear, anger, worry, thoughts/memories that weren’t mine, etc).  It was time for them to evolve, just as it was time for me to.  This whole concept is worthy of an article on its own, so we will leave it at that for now.

At the next vortex where we sat on a ledge looking over a canyon, we again went through a brief prayer and meditation to connect with the energies of the vortex.  At that point, Jaap went through a process to remove the shadow energies from my system.  The process ended up being more complicated than he expected, but with our combined efforts (Laurie’s too), the shadows finally passed to the light and I was free!  I can’t tell you how wonderful it felt to have only my own system to support!

We visited three more vortexes, each with its own gift.  During the process, I learned that there would be a time ahead of reexamining my thoughts and feelings to be sure they were truly mine.  Having lived for so many years with my empathic system interwoven with others, really becoming clear on my true identity is the next stage of my journey.  With a firm connection to Archangel Michael to guide me, an understanding of the importance of allowing nature’s natural rhythm to flow unencumbered, we left this magical place.  Yet another passage from Joel’s poem mirrored this so beautifully:

“ For the sky is elder brother,

showing soul what it shall be,

as you become your true wise self,

but no other, with

clear knowing in your open gaze,

that understands life’s mystery.”

So what has changed for me?

I’m sure I haven’t even begun to know all the changes that have occurred, but the most notable changes are in how I feel.  It is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I can stand up straighter without it being such a struggle. My energy level has increased dramatically.  I find myself laughing more and feeling much more optimistic.  Truly, I feel like I am free.  I know I have more to learn and clarify (after all, the learning is never really over is it?).  I am just very grateful that this big piece of my healing is complete!

I send infinite love and gratitude to the amazing healers and soul friends who helped me to get to this point (as this was an ongoing process over many years).  And of course to Mother Earth and Father Sky for helping me find my way home.

Below is the information about Joel Bruce Wallach and Jaap Van Etten who I can’t recommend highly enough.  They are both very gifted healers and truly wise.   I’m also including a link to Mershona Parshall whose heart-centered  hypnotherapy session got me to the place where I was ready to take the step with Jaap.  She is also very gifted and full of Earth wisdom.

You can read Joel’s full poem (and all his other wonderful writings and services) at this link:  Joel Bruce Wallach

For information on Jaap Van Etten (Sedona Vortex tours, healing sessions in person or by phone and his books):  Jaap Van Etten

For information on heart-centered hypnotherapy with Mershona Parshall:  Mershona Parshall

Wishing you all many blessings on your own journey!

Nancy