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For those of us who are highly sensitive or empathic, other people’s emotions and dramas can often feel overwhelming. The extra level of awareness that allows us to be compassionate and intuitive, also means we are more aware of the energy and emotions swirling around us. There are many tools to help you stay centered and not at the mercy of this sensitivity and I thought I’d share one created by my coaching partner, Ryan O’Toole, that I am finding very helpful.
One of the important steps to being a healthy, thriving empathic or highly sensitive person (or really for anyone trying to navigate the challenging times we live in) is to learn how to stay in one’s own shoes and not become overloaded by the emotions or experiences of others. When we are able to stay grounded and centered, we align with our higher self and are able to hear the wisdom of our heart. This is a time period when being able to listen to our inner truth radar is essential, as you can pick almost any topic and find conflicting “truths” being espoused.
Three Questions to Stay Centered
1. What is motivating your choice to get involved – love or fear? Love motives will bring a feeling of being uplifted, excited, or joyful. Fear motives will leave you feeling tense, anxious, pressured, or worried. If it isn’t love, then it is best to take a look at what is making you afraid and find a way to address the fear so you can then choose from love.
2. Will it nourish me to get involved? Just as they recommend when you are flying that if you need to use the oxygen masks, put yours on first before helping someone else, the same is true for keeping our own systems functioning optimally. If pursuing an interaction or activity is going to drain you, perhaps you should reconsider participating. When it is in alignment from a spiritual point of view for us to be involved, we will have the energy we need. If we are doing something out of guilt or obligation, it will drain us and that doesn’t help anyone.
3. Have you been invited? Those of us who are empathic naturally have a sense when someone is upset or struggling, but that doesn’t mean it is always best for us to get involved. We need to be invited to help before we act, as otherwise the person we are trying to help will become angry with us for not respecting their boundaries.
I have found taken the time to check in on these three questions really strengthens my ability to stay centered and empowered. I hope you find them helpful too!
Those of you who have worked with me know that I often talk about the Triple Warmer Meridian. This is one of the energy lines of the body that regulates our fight or flight response. It serves as the inner warrior that is always watching out for danger and prepared to call in the troops should a challenge arise.
In the days of our ancestors, most of the threats we faced came in the form of physical attacks. Should such a physical challenge arise, the triple warmer system would release the hormones and prepare the body for a big physical exertion, either to run or fight. These days, most of our threats are emotional or are of things that aren’t happening directly to us. This means that our inner warrior is running around trying to protect us when there is nothing to fight and no where to run! When this happens, we are essentially putting a cap on a volcano. All that has been geared up gets no outlet and virtually implodes inside of us.
This last week, the Triple Warmer went off the charts for a lot of people. I had more calls about people feeling suicidal or having huge blowups with loved ones then I think I have ever had at one time. So what happened?
Take a look at what has been going on lately. There has been one natural or man-made disaster after another. We are bombarded with tales of suffering, political upheaval, and unfolding disaster daily. Then add in our normal everyday challenges and you have a recipe for Triple Warmer Overload! When that happens, our ability to reason or be objective goes out the window. It makes us feel that everything is out of control and we are in terrible danger. This often leads to frustration with loved ones because we are looking to them to help us feel safe again, when often they are in the midst of fear themselves.
So what can we do about this? Below are some suggestions to help step out of the state of high alert, so we can get back to inner stability and peace. From this place, we are much better able to help others, without crashing and burning ourselves.
1. Breathe – There are two ways to clear the hormones that cause the fight or flight response and deep, slow breaths are one of them. When we are afraid, we start to breathe very shallow and quick. Consciously focus on expanding your lungs to their full capacity, pause, and then do a long, slow exhale from the mouth. Even a few deep breaths can settle your system.
2. Move – When the Triple Warmer gets out of whack, we are often in situations where we can’t move, yet moving is the second way we can clear the hormones that are causing the fight or flight response. If you are in a car, try doing some simple exercises. Grip the steering wheel and hold for 30 seconds and then relax your grip for 30 seconds. Tighten and release different muscle groups. Use one hand to do tapping (emotional freedom technique). If you are somewhere you can move, do some push ups, go for a walk, do some yoga or any exercise that keeps you moving.
3. Laugh – Laughter can quickly calm your system, yet when we are afraid it is often difficult to find anything funny. One thing I have found helpful is to keep repeating “I laugh, I laugh, I laugh” over and over to myself. Even just saying that seems to shift my energy and helps me relax. If you can find something funny to watch or remember something that happened that was really funny, that is even better!
4. Stay Close to the Earth – Nature is our number one ally for keeping our nervous system balanced. When we are out with trees and plants in natural places, our nervous system begins to sync with the vibration of the natural world. This is our optional vibration as well and can provide deep healing. Sitting on the ground, walking barefoot, leaning against a tree are all easy ways to get out of fight or flight. A good metaphor to think of is about being out in a storm. If the wind is blowing fiercely, you don’t want to be up in the tree! You are much safer staying close to the earth. Right now, we need to stay grounded to keep from losing our balance. A daily walk in nature is a great way to take good care of yourself.
5. Be present – It is wonderful how we are able to be connected with people all over the world, but it is also part of the reason we get overloaded sometimes. While we can have great compassion for the suffering of others, we can’t carry their challenges or solve them. For example, those of us in Ohio aren’t able to be helping to fight fires in California right now. We aren’t there and there is no fire to fight where we are. That is why being mindful of what you are exposing yourself too through the media is an important step to calming the Triple Warmer. Imagine you have a young child inside you that is scared. The last thing you would do is start telling them about all the dangerous things that could happen to them! We need to do the same for ourselves. Be present where you are and see where you are as safe and affirm that all is well. Fill yourself with peace. Ask the Angels to help where you aren’t able to and then come back to what is present for you in this moment.
6. Energy Techniques – There are many great energy techniques out there that can help to settle your nervous system and calm the Triple Warmer. You can have a session with a practitioner of reflexology, polarity therapy, Reiki, Jin Shin Jyutsu, BodyTalk, massage, or Cranial Sacral Therapy, just to mention a few. All of these techniques can be very helpful to settle your system. There is also a technique called Energy Medicine created by Donna Eden. I am a huge fan of this system, as it offers many simple things you can do on your own. Below is a link to a You Tube video sharing some of the best ways to calm the Triple Warmer Meridian:
For a list of my favorite practitioners, visit the Gratitude Directory on my sister site: Spirit Earth
I’m also happy to help with an empowerment reading or energy session!
I hope this helps you to find some peace during this time of transformation.
One of the challenges to living in a state of joy is keeping the mind at peace. Our minds have been trained to look for things to worry about. We are used to working on “problems” or trying to avoid things that can cause us pain. While there is a time and place for that to occur, often we are worrying rather than solving problems. Yet, trying to redirect the mind when it thinks it has found something to be concerned about can be really tough! Recently, I started a new technique that I’ve been finding really effective, so I thought I would pass it on to all of you. I’m calling it the “habit of gratitude.”
Basically, what I started doing was when I noticed myself getting uptight or worried, I started looking around for things to be thankful for. I would start mentally saying thank you for everything that caught my attention. For example, this morning when I was walking, I started mentally saying the following, “Thank you for the beautiful blue sky. Thank you for these warm clothes. Thank you for my comfortable shoes. Thank you for the warm sun on my back. Thank you for the beautiful green bushes. Thank you for the refreshing breeze. Thank you for my strong muscles that let me walk easily. Thank you for my health. Thank you for the palm trees. Thank you for my loved ones. Thank you for this opportunity to be walking. Thank you for my Angels.” After just a few minutes of this, I was feeling lighter and happier. My whole energy system had shifted and I was smiling!
I have heard it said that it takes 21 days to create a new habit. I have just started this practice, so it hasn’t become a habit for me yet, but I hope that I can stick to it and make it one. Want to join me? This month, let’s get into the habit of looking for all the wonderful things to be grateful for. When you aren’t sure what to think about or if you start feeling worried, shift your focus and start saying thank you.
Somehow I missed the last new moon! I am currently in Montana taking day trips into Yellowstone National Park. Quite an amazing place. We even were blessed to see the Canyon Wolf Pack! For this month’s new moon reading, I’ll be connecting with Mother Earth and our Spiritual Support Teams of Angels and Spirit Guides to see what is coming through to support you in manifesting your New Moon wishes for the month ahead. Readings are done anonymously (you’ll be told what number you are) and there will be group messages and energy balancing for the group as a whole. The readings are pre-recorded and you will receive a link to download the reading on your computer. To register, sign up at the New Moon Readings page here: Register by Thursday 9/29
Here is a photo of some bison we drove past in Yellowstone!
I wanted to share about a joyful encounter from my world back in Ohio. I recently went through a divorce from a man I was privileged to spend the last twelve years with. He was and is a soul friend who helped me grow and learn to love myself, through our years together. Though our life paths took turns in different directions, I am grateful for the time we had together and our friendship now. Jeff has a gift for finding laughter and love in the darkest places. He made one of life’s most difficult challenges tolerable through his kindness. As a result, we were able to stay in a state of unconditional love and respect for each other through the end of our marriage. Even though this experience has tossed us both out of the nest, perhaps before we were sure of our wings, he has continued to look for ways to support and love the people around him, including me. He spreads joy through his stories and art, through his sense of humor when looking at the ironies of life, and through his deep kindness. Thank you Jeff for showing me and others how to let love lead! Check out his website too where you will find information about his educational art programs. They offer a great way to find joy in the little things in life! His website is: http://www.JNicholasArt.com
The New Moon is a great time to set your intentions to manifest your goals for the month ahead! Each month, I offer a recorded reading to provide guidance and insight. The readings include a personalized message (done anonymously) along with energy balancing and insights for the group as a whole. To register for this last New Moon reading for 2015, sign up by 12/10. The reading is $25/member or $30/non-members. To learn more and register: New Moon Readings
Here is a forecast for the New Moon from the Power Path Blog:
“December 11: New Moon is Friday, December 11 at 3:30AM Mountain Time (MT). This New Moon is the perfect opportunity to reset, to pray, to set intentions and to be involved in community in a way that is meaningful. It is important to look ahead instead of looking back. This new moon also supports a creative container for personal expression. There is a desire to be heard, not in an ego way but in an authentic yearning to be your unique contribution in this life.
If you allow it, your personal medicine has the potential to be seen by others and nurtured by spirit. Set an intention and say some prayers today for that to manifest.”
I asked for a message for the New Moon this month and two cards fell out of the Grace cards by Cheryl Richardson. They are:
Watch – “Watch for a miracle. Coincidences are Divinely inspired moments designed to remind us that a Higher Power is guiding our lives.”
Gratitude – “Be thankful. A grateful heart is like a magnet drawing toward it a wealth of abundance.”
Sending love and Happy New Moon wishes for you!
To learn more about working with Nancy: How to Get Started
Thanksgiving is here in the United States and Christmas is right around the corner. While this can be a joyous time of year, it can also be challenging. This year, we also have a full moon in Gemini on the day before Thanksgiving which can amp up the emotions. That is why I thought it might be helpful to share a new technique for getting yourself in a state of love before heading into family gatherings.
The process below can help you reconnect with a loved one. You can do this on your own or if the other person is interested, you can go through the process together. Here are the steps:
Steps to Strengthen the Bond
Physical Focus: What are your top five favorite memories of physical activities or experiences you have had with this person? You might remember a favorite trip, nature walks, or any other joyous interacting you have experienced.
Emotional Focus: What are your top five favorite memories of emotional bonding with the person? Gary Chapman identifies five different love languages – Touch, Words of Appreciation, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, and Quality Time. Consider these different categories to find your favorite top five.
Spiritual Focus: What are your top five favorite spiritual experiences with this person? Remember, this doesn’t have to be religious (though it can be). Any experience where you felt inspired and uplifted fits here.
Gratitude: What are five reasons you are grateful for this person in your life? You can add more to this list if you are struggling to feel close. The more you can come up with and really let yourself feel, the easier it will be to feel close again.
This process works best if you let yourself fully remember the experience rather than just make a list. You could even use this process with prior holidays focusing on the family gatherings as a whole!
Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season!
With much love and gratitude,
If you are interested in an empowerment reading to support you with this process, visit my website to learn more: www.EmpoweringLightworkers.com
This New Moon is in the sign of Aries and as Jan Spiller (renowned author and astrologist says), “April’s New Moon is an ESPECIALLY potent New Moon because it is in the sign of Aries. This is the most potent New Moon of the year for making wishes involving new beginnings!”
If you would like some intuitive input to help you make the most of this opportunity to manifest exciting new beginnings I will be doing a New Moon Empowerment Circle Recorded reading. The last day to register is Friday 4/17. This is a collective reading with personalized messages for each of the participants (done anonymously). You can sign up and learn more by going to this link: New Moon Readings
Have a beautiful day!
Come and experience Animal Communication and Healing Sessions with Debbie Jones of Beyond the Bag Pet Nutrition & Wellness
I had a great session with Debbie (one of my Sanctuary colleagues) about my dog Zippy! I thought I’d pass this on for those of you who are pet owners. Hugs! Nancy