For those of us who are highly sensitive or empathic, other people’s emotions and dramas can often feel overwhelming. The extra level of awareness that allows us to be compassionate and intuitive, also means we are more aware of the energy and emotions swirling around us. There are many tools to help you stay centered and not at the mercy of this sensitivity and I thought I’d share one created by my coaching partner, Ryan O’Toole, that I am finding very helpful.
One of the important steps to being a healthy, thriving empathic or highly sensitive person (or really for anyone trying to navigate the challenging times we live in) is to learn how to stay in one’s own shoes and not become overloaded by the emotions or experiences of others. When we are able to stay grounded and centered, we align with our higher self and are able to hear the wisdom of our heart. This is a time period when being able to listen to our inner truth radar is essential, as you can pick almost any topic and find conflicting “truths” being espoused.
Three Questions to Stay Centered
1. What is motivating your choice to get involved – love or fear? Love motives will bring a feeling of being uplifted, excited, or joyful. Fear motives will leave you feeling tense, anxious, pressured, or worried. If it isn’t love, then it is best to take a look at what is making you afraid and find a way to address the fear so you can then choose from love.
2. Will it nourish me to get involved? Just as they recommend when you are flying that if you need to use the oxygen masks, put yours on first before helping someone else, the same is true for keeping our own systems functioning optimally. If pursuing an interaction or activity is going to drain you, perhaps you should reconsider participating. When it is in alignment from a spiritual point of view for us to be involved, we will have the energy we need. If we are doing something out of guilt or obligation, it will drain us and that doesn’t help anyone.
3. Have you been invited? Those of us who are empathic naturally have a sense when someone is upset or struggling, but that doesn’t mean it is always best for us to get involved. We need to be invited to help before we act, as otherwise the person we are trying to help will become angry with us for not respecting their boundaries.
I have found taking the time to check in on these three questions really strengthens my ability to stay centered and empowered. I hope you find them helpful too!