As I have mentioned in other posts, I’ve become fascinated with the process of learning how to manifest from love not fear. I’ve written a lot about this and been working with the concept with my groups and private clients. As is always the case, the Universe responded to my request to learn with an opportunity to practice. In this case, it came in the form of a potential change in my family life – one that is pushing all of my emotional buttons.
I went through a divorce when my son Jacob was three. Since then, his dad and I have both remarried and Jacob has lived half time with each of us. We’ve always lived five minutes apart which has allowed both families to be very much a part of Jacob’s life. Just recently, the news has been shared that Jacob is most likely moving to Colorado this summer with his father’s family to finish his last two years of high school and attend college there.
Jacob and I have always had a close relationship and frankly this news was very upsetting. The idea of him living 20 hours away from me and not being a physical part of my daily life is hard to imagine. This led to a very early morning meditation time and the following realization, not only is this situation giving me a chance to practice what I have wanted to learn, but it is also providing a perfect example of how to manifest from love.
How Jacob Manifested His Dream
Let Love Lead…
When Jacob was 12, he went to Colorado on a ski trip with a friend. He absolutely loved Colorado, not just because it was a good place to ski, but because of how he felt being out there. He has always loved nature and for some reason, the mountains of Colorado really resonated with him. After that first trip, Jacob surrounded himself with images of Colorado and talked about how much he loved it all the time. Frankly, he became obsessed with it! The love for Colorado has continued for the last four years.
Jacob started talking about wanting to go to college in Colorado not long after that first trip. He did a lot of research on Colorado colleges and living out there. He looked into options for getting residency and started exploring the places he would like to live online. He talked to people he met who were living in Colorado to see how they had ended up there. He daydreamed about living there and let himself believe it could happen.
Take Inspired Action…
Jacob took every opportunity to return to Colorado. His dad and step mom liked to ski and soon they were taking Jacob there for trips. Eventually, he got his dad and family to go out there for a ski trip. They fell in love with the place too which led to more trips. Jacob even went as far as to change the location where he lived on his Facebook page to Colorado with a photo of himself skiing. He changed his email to have Colorado in the title. He talked about Colorado and how much he loved it all the time. He put photos on his walls, made it the screen saver on his computer, and continued to save money and take every opportunity he could to go visit.
Looking at what Jacob did the last four years, I can see that he applied all the concepts shared in The Game of Life and How to Play it by Florence Scovel Shinn, even though he has never read the book. He focused unwaveringly on what he loved and wanted. He took actions as if it already existed. He was willing to take the leap of faith and have the courage to act when the opportunity presented itself. And now, four years later, it looks like this intention is becoming a reality. How powerful to be able to keep focused and create like this from the age of 12 (and yes this is the proud mom in me speaking)!
And What About Me…
While I admire Jacob’s manifestation abilities, I have to admit that I would rather he had chosen something else to create. My heart still hurts at the thought of him moving away and I am going to have to work through the sadness and fear this change brings. I also realize though that now it is my turn to follow my wise son’s example.
I have been talking to all of you through my writing and my work about how we are being asked to evolve and start letting love motivate our path, not fear. We are getting the opportunity to raise our vibration and change the way our species functions on this planet. I get the concepts very well intellectually. I believe them and really can see how it can work. Now, I’m getting a chance to start practicing what I preach.
How can I come from love for myself and my family in this situation? How can I respond in a way that is both empowering for Jacob, but also empowering for me? I believe I need to start by looking at all of this in a different way then I would have in the past. Starting today, I am going to focus on what I want too, starting with a close, interactive, adult relationship with Jacob. I am going to remember all the great conversations and fun experiences we have shared over the years, not with sadness, but with the intention of reminding the Universe that I want more of that (thank you soul friend Anne Wondra for this great technique!). I am going to see this big change, not as a loss, but as an expansion. A chance to have new experiences, new adventures, and a new way of connecting and sharing with the son that I so greatly love and admire. I am going to take actions, just like this blog post, to act as if this new aspect of our relationship already exists, because deep down, I know in my heart that it really does. I am also going to start looking for ways my husband and I can create what we would love to experience in this new phase of our lives, that allows us to grow and enjoy life while also staying close to our sons who are living (or may be living) on opposite sides of the country.
Insights to Help Us All
In closing, I want to share a few tips to support us all as we go through these major changes. As we set the intention to raise our vibration and start living from love, the places that restrict that process gets highlighted. As I have been so vividly reminded by this latest example, the process can feel very painful, especially when we look through fear at what is happening. Re-training our nervous system and re-framing what is happening can help us move more solidly into seeing through the eyes of love.
Tips to Manage Transformation
1. Calm the Triple Warmer Meridian: When changes happens, it is natural to have the body begin to prepare for danger. This process is something that has been hard-wired into our beings as a survival mechanism. Unfortunately, it isn’t always able to decipher what is really a threat and what isn’t. Using the techniques shared by Donna Eden in her book Energy Medicine to balance the triple warmer meridian (that governs the survival response) is a very powerful way to calm your system. I have included resource links at the bottom of this post. A quick and powerful technique is to hold your hands on your forehead and think about whatever is causing you stress. Gradually, you will find the powerful emotions ease and you are able to shift into a more loving viewpoint of what is happening.
2. Focus on Self-Care: Thankfully, I’ve spent the last fourteen years learning how to take care of my very highly sensitive system. All those tools have been really helpful through this process. Some of my favorites are – yoga mudras, meditation, sessions with my very talented soul friend healers, yoga, walks, lying on the grass, going for walks, and getting extra rest. Again, resource links are included below.
3. Laugh: While I was in the midst of the fear about this change happening in my life, I kept asking for guidance and over and over again I saw the image of myself laughing. Every time I would focus on the image, I could feel my system relax. Watch for opportunities to laugh and take advantage of them. Remember to smile, even when you feel like crying. It is a powerful tool to help shift your energy and move into a love state and out of fear.
4. Remember you are not alone: It is times like these I am so glad that I had the intention of creating a community of lightworkers to go through this process with! The experiences that are pushing this growth may not be the same, but we can all relate to the feeling that some force is pushing us to change. Just like a seedling that feels this compulsion to move up without knowing what it is going to find once it breaks through the surface, we are being called to grow. Reminding each other that there is a beautiful life waiting for us once we emerge can help us all go through this change in the gentlest and easiest way possible. When the struggle is not our own, it is much easier to hold and know the truth. Sometimes we need a friend to do this for us, when we are not able to do it on our own. Much thanks to all my beautiful friends and family who have been reaching out with love to support me and a special thanks to my dear friend Lori Byrnes for being there during the times when the fear gets the better of me.
Below are the resources that I mentioned in this post:
Much love to my wonderful son Jacob for pushing me to expand and grow. Much love to all my wonderful soul friend support system for all the help through this. Much love to my family, especially my husband Jeff, whose gift of humor and kindness always uplifts me. And finally, much love to all of you for being with me on the journey!