Saturday night, I saw an image of a salmon jumping out of the water as it struggled to swim upstream. I could feel how it was fighting to keep going and also the part that wanted to just give in and just let the river win. It almost felt as if the salmon was jumping out of the water to see how much further it had to go. I read about the salmon in Animal-Wise by Ted Andrews. He mentions that salmon will swim 1,500 miles upstream back to the place they were born. They mate there, lay eggs, and then die. Andrews wraps up the section with the following:
“When the salmon appears, we need to take a look at the pilgrimage we have either been on or have been considering taking. Our life will never be the same. We will be transformed. There will be a feeling of predestination in regards to a spiritual journey.”
As I meditated on this image, I was given a very clear sense of the spiritual journey we are all on both as individuals and as a species. It was if I could see how the struggle to swim upstream was forcing all the false beliefs and distractions to be dropped. The only way to make it back to ourselves is to become so clear on who we really are.
So who am I? I had another vision of a past life in which I was a nun who was ruthlessly punishing herself for not being able to get beyond the “weaknesses of the flesh.” I could feel so strongly how desperately she wanted to be worthy of God. She literally wanted to “melt the flesh” from her soul, so she could be good enough. As I sit in this lifetime, I see that much of my journey has been to embrace being human. I have had to learn through many painful lessons that I have to love and care for the very physical and human me for the spiritual aspects to shine through.
I believe that we are all God just as the smallest raindrop is of the same essence as the mighty ocean. We each have in us the Divine and the Divine is not just the parts we like. I was shown the image of a tiger. I could feel its power and beauty. What a graceful and amazing animal! Then I was shown it killing. I heard Spirit say, “Is it any less Divine when it takes life to live?” While I shy away from seeing the taking of life to survive as in Divine order, my very practical self says that of course it is exactly that. We all kill something to live (or let someone else kill it for us) because without doing so, we would die. Life lives off of life.
So what does that mean to me as I try to evolve into the highest version of myself? I heard it means we should all live according to our true nature. “If you are a tiger, then be a tiger. If you are a fish, then be a fish. Do not try to be that which you are not.”
I think as human beings we lose our way sometimes with this. We are such complex creatures with the ability to be so many things. We can see aspects of ourselves in others because we possess a bit of each. Knowing that though doesn’t negate the fact that at our core, in this lifetime, we do have an essential nature that is who we are.
I asked for a metaphor to get a clearer picture of who I am at my essence. I saw a black cat. I had a cat growing up that I adored. She was a very independent and strong-willed cat. She would be very affectionate and loving (on her terms) and quick to put you in your place if you weren’t doing what she wanted. Every dog we had quickly learned that she was in charge. She woke me up many a night at 3 AM by howling as she clung to the screen of my window until I came to let her in. She knew exactly who she was and what she wanted.
I think about this and ask is this true of me? I can see many qualities of a cat in me. I need a lot of time alone. I like and need to do things my own way. I am very loving and affectionate with my loved ones and a bit reserved with strangers (unless I adopt a dog-like personality and strive to make them more comfortable). I can be demanding and impatient. I can also get focused to the point of becoming oblivious to what is going on around me. When I look back over my life, I see the times I’ve been the happiest are the times I’ve been cat-like. I can also see how I’ve spent a good portion of my life really trying to be more like a dog. The easy affection, openness, and easy-going nature of a dog are traits I really admire. Being a teacher required me to be dog-like. I needed to be outgoing and available all the time as a teacher. There wasn’t much space for wandering off on my own or choosing to ignore someone’s demands of me. I think that is why I never could quite get comfortable there.
So what is your true nature? Who are you at your core? What are the aspects of this true nature that you reject or struggle against? As we all swim against the current to return to our true center, I feel we will have to let go of our resistance to the truth of who we are. We need all of our nature to get home, to make it upstream, to evolve. We need to be who we are meant to be.
We’ll be asking for guidance on this topic during our next community empowerment call on 9/16. I hope you can join me!
Your True Nature Soul Friends Empowerment Call, 9/16/2012 7PM-8PM Eastern Standard Time
For our community empowerment call, we’ll be exploring our true nature. We all have many aspects of our personality, but who are we at our core? When we peel away all the layers of trying to “fit in” we will find the essence of our true nature. On this call, we’ll be invoking Divine support to be given an animal metaphor to help us with this. I’ll lead you through a guided meditation to connect with your Spiritual Support Team (and teach you some tips about how to do this on your own along the way) and then I’ll provide additional interpretation and insight for those on the call with me. This call is for the members of the Soul Friends Community (Not a member yet? You can sign up here for $5/month: Soul Friends Membership). Call in details will be sent out on our community email list prior to the call.
Wishing you joy in the journey…