Ever feel like a victim to your emotions? You aren’t alone! Feelings are something we all experience (no matter how we sometimes try to ignore them!)
One of my biggest passions is learning to master self-care and to teach others how to do the same thing. Over the years, I’ve become very adept at caring for my needs energetically, physically, and mentally. Recently, I’ve realized I wasn’t as adept at providing the same care for my emotional self.
As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’m a big fan of nervous system settling. Learning how to bring the body to a state of calm and restore balance is an amazing technique for feeling more peaceful and safe. Lately, I’ve been experimenting with how to provide the same type of “settling” for my emotional self. Below are some simple steps to restore a sense of well-being, even when times are tough.
STEP ONE: IDENTIFY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING
What are you feeling? Sometimes we expend tremendous energy trying not to answer that question. Why? Because we don’t know what to do about the situation that is causing the emotional upset. For this step, don’t jump to how to make it better. Just identify what exactly you are feeling in that moment.
A great way to do this is to take a few minutes to breathe deeply. As you breathe deeply, ask yourself how you are feeling. Sometimes when I do this activity, I will see myself very angry, sometimes sad, or sometimes frustrated. I let myself “listen” to this part of me so that I allow this emotion to be expressed. Again, this isn’t the time to try and “fix” anything. It is simply an opportunity to be present for you and allow yourself to fully feel whatever is there. I find it helpful to write out what I’m hearing onto a piece of paper. The physical act of writing seems to help release the emotion more easily, especially if you destroy the paper when you are done. Our emotions aren’t always rational, but they do need to have an outlet. Writing them on a paper that will be destroyed provides a safe place for them to be expressed.
STEP TWO: PROVIDE COMFORT
When you were a child, what did your parents do when you were upset? Hopefully, they comforted you by hugging you or spending some time listening. You can provide this comfort to yourself, now that you are an adult. I do this by imagining the upset part of me as a child. I pull the child on my lap and hug her. I say and do the things I would do to comfort my son, if he was upset or afraid. This always helps me to feel relaxed and loved. This activity is simply about providing comfort and the space to express what is experienced, not a time to judge or try to fix. An additional benefit to this activity is that it empowers my wise, compassionate adult self, so everyone is happy!
STEP THREE: LEAN ON SPIRIT
As an adult, we are no longer able to lean so heavily on our parents for care and nurturing. For me, I’ve found it helpful to lean on Spirit. You can use whatever religious or spiritual reference works for you…or you can simply imagine your highest self providing the support. I use a simple meditation technique to evoke this feeling. I imagine myself sitting in a peaceful spot in the woods. I lean against a big strong oak tree and put my feet in a gentle stream in front of me. I feel the gentle breeze, hear the birds singing, smell the fresh scents of the forest and feel the soft moss under my hands. Once I am relaxed, I let myself imagine being wrapped in loving arms and feeling Divine love surrounding and supporting me. I release whatever is troubling me to Spirit, knowing I will receive the help and inspiration I need at just the right time.
STEP FOUR: ADDRESS THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM
Our emotions are simply a warning system. They provide us with awareness when our thoughts are creating a feeling of unease or disharmony. Sometimes, simply listening to our emotional self will calm things down and no further action will be needed. Other times though, there is an underlying fear that needs to be addressed. Ask yourself, if this were my child, what would I do or suggest to help them feel safe? If you find that you don’t know how to ease the fear, then consider asking for some help. There are many wonderful books, counselors, coaches, and healers available to give you additional insight and wisdom on how to improve the situation that is making you feel powerless. There is no shame in taking good care of yourself…and sometimes taking care of yourself means acknowledging when you need some outside input. A fresh perspective can make all the difference.
STEP FIVE: USE ENERGETIC TOOLS TO SOOTHE
There are many amazing tools that can help support you in taking care of your emotional self. One of the tools that really made a difference for me is a Blue Agate pendant designed by Intuitive/Artist Deanne Angel (Angel Healing Crystals). This pendant was intuitively designed and selected for my needs. I absolutely love it! It has a deeply calming and soothing effect on my whole system. It seems to work on an energetic level to help me overcome my fears and feel more emotionally balanced. Another tool I find helpful is flower essences. I tried a new flower essence for emotional sensitive people recently called Pink Yarrow. You can find that essence and others for a variety of emotional and physical concerns at http://www.featherhawk.com/. Aromatherapy is another favorite tool of mine. I’ve been using a roll on from Young Living (Jennifer Hagele #989297 is the distributor I use) called Tranquil which I find very helpful. I also love the LavenMint spray from Savannah Moon.
I hope you find these steps helpful! If you find you need some spiritual insight and practical input to support you with this process, I’m here to help!
Blessings to you and yours!
Nancy
Nancy Nicholas is an Intuitive Life Coach who works with clients who are feeling powerless because of a relationship, health situation, job, family matter, or other concern. She offers Empowerment Readings which combine Divine guidance with practical coaching tips to help her clients make the necessary changes to move into a better situation. Readings are available by phone or email. Economic Recession Rates are $15/15 minutes. Visit my website to learn more and to get your free Divine Purpose Survey! www.EmpoweringLightworkers.com.
Questions? Nancy can be reached by email at Nancy@EmpoweringLightworkers.com.
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